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| Sunday, September 27, 2009 |
| There is a light for everyone |
 Everyone has hope we just need to find it.. if only ... if only... it was that easy to find... i wish i could find that light at the end of the tunnel the light that gives everyone hopw my light a light enough to give me courage to do what i want to do to be free... to have courage... to stop thinking what i think of... to enjoy what i have and not cry over what ive lost... if only i could find tht light .. that could help me tlk to u..
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posted by Marjorie @ 8:01 PM  |
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| Saturday, September 26, 2009 |
| emotions dont make a lot of noise |
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| posted by Marjorie @ 5:09 PM |
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| Sunday, September 20, 2009 |
| let |
let it go.
let me be free.
let all these emotions go away.
let all these thoughts disappear.
let problems vanish.
let me jump.
let me cut.
let me stab.
let me slit.
let everything go away.
let tears keep coming down.
let the smiles disappear
let my life be gone.
& everything else with it. |
| posted by Marjorie @ 4:07 PM |
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| Thursday, September 17, 2009 |
| ever get that feeling? |
ever get the feeling that you just can't describe.
a feeling in your heart...
and NO.. i dont mean the feeling of love and whatever like tht
i mean the total opposite.
its a feeling.
i cant describe it
its as if there is a hole in the heart
like something is missing...
it's a feeling that makes yu want to cry
and yet yu dont..
its a hard feeling to describe.
melancholic maybe ?
idk ..
if only i could find the words tht could describe it...
to describe this feeling in my heart...
...
i guess all i can do now
is cover it up
like i usually do...
cover it up with my optimism..
and sheer happiness...
..
i'll just cover it up..
like i usually do
and think about it later..
until one day i can can describe it. |
| posted by Marjorie @ 8:13 PM |
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| Saturday, September 12, 2009 |
| FUCK YOU!.. |
how could yu?
bad news after bad news!
how can one take it a one time..
this is a message for you-
i know u dont read my blog or barely know me -
but this is for you-
FUCK YOU
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FAMILY
I HOPE YOU ARE ROTTING IN FUCKING JAIL THIS VERY FUCKING MOMENT
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FUCKING TO DO THAT TO PEOPLE
FUCK YOU! JUST FUCK YOU
YOU FUCKING DID THAT AGAINST HER OWN FUCKING WILL
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT
SO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND THEIR FUCKING LIFE
NO FUCKING THANKS TO YOU
YOU MAY HAVE RUINED HER FUCKING LIFE!
A FUCKING NO
IS A FUCKING NO!
YOU FUCKING RUIN PEOPLES FUCKING LIVES
THATS WHAT U FUCKING DO
SO STAY THE FUCK AWAY
I DONT CARE ONE FUCKING BIT ABOUT YOU
I HOPE YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING STAY IN FUCKING JAIL
FOR THE FUCKING REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE
COS U FUCKING KNOW WHAT
U FUCKING DESERVE IT
U FUCKING DESERVE MUCH FUCKING WORSE
FOR FUCKING RUINING HER FUCKING LIFE
FUCK OFF
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FUCKING FAMILY
U JUST FUCKED UP EVERYTHING
I HOPE YOUR FUCKING JAIL SENTENCE IS FUCKING LIFE LONG
COS U FUCKING DESERVE IT
U FUCKING BETTER NOT FUCKING COMPLAIN
COS U FUCKING BROUGHT IT ON YOUR FUCKED UP SELF
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
STAY THE FUCK AWAY
GO FUCKING ROT IN FUCKING JAIL WHERE YOU FUCKING BELONG!
___________________
this is for her:
and for many others....
Are you swimming up stream
in oceans of blue
Do you feel like your sinking?
Are you sick of the rain after all you've been through?
Well I know what you're thinking
When you can't take it
You can make it
Sometime soon I know you'll see
'cause when you're in your darkest hour
And all of the light just fades away
and When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
Well hang on and be strong
We're taking each step one day at a time
You can't loose your spirit
Let live and let live forget and forgive
It's all how you see it
And just remember keep it together
Don't you know you're never alone
'cause when you're in your darkest hour
And all of the light just fades away
When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
Well hang on (whoa) and be strong
No you're not defeated
And soon you'll be smiling once again
Then you won't have to feel it
Let it go with the wind
Time passes us by
And know that you're allowed to cry
'cause when you're in your darkest hour
And all of the light just fades away
When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
Well hang on (whoa) and be strong
(hang on hang on) Be strong
Hold on and be strong
Delta Goodrem - Be strong... |
| posted by Marjorie @ 11:02 AM |
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| Wednesday, September 9, 2009 |
| ... |
I listened as people swore about you
I listened as people bitched about you
I listened more and more
I couldnt stop..
curiosity...
They were bitching about you to me..
what was i suppose to say..?
they kept talking about 'you're ruined reputation' and 'your ugly face'
but deep down i knew it wasn't true...was it?
Overhearing such things,
coming from your own friends mouths
it makes one wonder?
does my opinion count?
does my feelings count?
or do these friends of mine even listen to one word that comes out of my mouth?
could a person have friends who aren't their friends?
well idk could they?
Why can't one have all her questions answered!! |
| posted by Marjorie @ 10:35 AM |
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| Tuesday, September 8, 2009 |
| be careful what u say |
From here on
it feels like
my blog is my ONLY private place
well i hope anyway :S
now i gotta be careful on what i say
otherwise i'll get it
from sum1 or sumthing
oh joy how fun T_T
so from now on...
i have to be careful on what i say
being monitored is so not fun..
tc world.. and be careful what u say to me :S |
| posted by Marjorie @ 10:05 PM |
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| Monday, September 7, 2009 |
| And then REALITY hits. |
For those stalkers out there who stalk my blog (*cough LOREYN cough*)..
haha JK
you would have recognised i changed my blog title to This Is MY reality..
it just sounded cooler than my other blog title 'Wlecome to Marjorie's World"
But srsly i'm still thinking of new names
so if u guys have any suggestions go right ahead and comment this blog post :)
Well then..
reality has officially kicked in
back to my way of life
school. Studying. Exams.Ewww...
You can say that i am coping but now i am worried about a lot of other ppl
SO many people.. I must complete my mission.
I really want do
"If at first i dont succeed, i Will try and try again until i do"
~"Carpe Diem"~
-> Seize the day...
I will do whatever i can, i will seize every oppurtunity to ensure everyone is coping. Although I can't ensure EVERYONE is coping.. i can do my best to ensure that a lot of people are..
I must do my best...
My best SHOULD be good enough!...
If it isnt.. I'll try harder than my best.. i know that might not be possible..
but to me it is..
it's time to bring the OLD marjorie back (noo..not as in OLD as eww dude she's ancient)
I mean bring my personality back
I admit i havent been all that for awhile.. Like you know..
It's been awhile since i've had that personality
Its time to follow my email.. or even ...remember my bebo username?
think-positive
Or one of my emails..
be.optimistic.be.me.marjorie
As yu can see.. yes it has been awhile since i have made these 'usernames/emails'
But it's time to foollow my own advice and bring back the OLD me..
I believe i must have lost it after my grandfathers death 2 yrs ago.. BUT now thanks to so many people i think i have finally found it again...
Although it might sound bad .. but through .. "he taking his life I believe he has saved mine"
Now i owe him so much. Thankyou. He's My hero..
To repay what i owe i MUST complete my mission!
It's time to face every obstacle of life with my head held high and a smile on my face..
Because thats reality
Reality has finally HIT me..
With a HUGE WHACK on the head
Reality isn't all its cracked up to be. It has it's ups and downs. It is a lot more than something we live!
SO .. from now on..
DO the best to think-positive / be.optimistic.
and be ready to face each and every obstacle because each obstacle is only a tiny part of reality.. There are a heck load of other things.. harder than obstacles.
Life is just one huge obstacle course with a variety of obstacles. |
| posted by Marjorie @ 12:42 PM |
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| Sunday, September 6, 2009 |
| Thankyou. |
SO what to say now..
Cant be fucked anymore...
i completely lost my spirit today
it just vanished, disappeared
but, after talking to ppl and stuff
i think im finding it again..
its good to have friends...
i srsly dk why i lost it today..
i've just been thinking why him?
i felt so bad today
i was so close to slitting
but gotta stay strong
i have to have spirit and faith
I wasnt tht close to him .. compared to a lot other ppl ..
but like .. the shock still gets to yu..
its a surprise and its hard to face
All i can think about now is death..
I went to mass today.. and the guy played a new song saying.. this isnt in the books but i hope you like it anyway..
and i listened to the song..
i recognised it...
it was the song all family members HAD to sing on my own grandfathers funeral..
Is this some sort of sign?
I can't help but think
I really do think I am Cursed
I'm suppose to be celbrating death annniversaries
not fucking new deaths...
I cant take it anymore..
If sum1 else dies
my bubble will burst ..
It burst today.. but sumhow i found a new one..
hopefully this bubble is strong ..
I lost it..
The bubble was burst
I lost my motivation to do things
I lost my optimism
but in all I lost my spirit...
like srsly though .. school as an example
wats the fucking point of studying and going to school .. it kills each and every one of us.. emotionally and physically?
Can a person ever be freee..?
I always wished to be free.. and well the only way i thought an indivdual could ever be free is by death
u'lll be free of everything..
I wish it was me and not alexis....
For some reason i feel like the impact would have been much less on some people if it was me...
I've attempted suicide be4
i had the knife so close to my heart...
but the thing that stopped me was..
Thinking about the impact it would have on so many people...
At times i feel like to try again
But i ought to thank Gio now..
Because now i know for sure about this so called impact that stopped me the first time...
I know for sure now.. that the impact will be just as great
and its better not to let ppl experience it..
so many ppl are going through hell right now..
I thank so many people for helping me find my spirit
Even though i did not find all of it yet..
I know ppl will always be there to help me look for it...
SO whenever i feel down now..
I'll think of him..
he's everywhere now.. He'll probably be looking after my spirit..
till i'm ready to find it again..
Thank you Gio for being everywhere and looking out for tonnes of ppl...
SO now i MUST finish the mission i strted!
Must set a good example for everyone
Must Cheer up who i can
and most of all
Must be ready to face everything and everyone that lies ahead in life with whatever spirit i have. |
| posted by Marjorie @ 6:50 PM |
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| Saturday, September 5, 2009 |
| MUST |
Death - its a scary outcome
i cant help but think what going to happen next?
will things ever get back to normal?
i mean
i screwed up mercy day yesterday
a supposedly celebration day
i screwed up being a godmother today at christening
another day of celebration
doing what?
crying, sleeping, thinking...
It's just me... so how are others doing
u cant help but imagine?
i can only sympathize and not empathize...
but i sure hope everyone is ok..
mission: to try and cheer everyone up!.. before I can reel my emotions in..
heaps of others hit it worse then me..
can't be selfish..
must care for others
must see their smiling faces again
must do this
must do that
Its all a MUST! |
| posted by Marjorie @ 11:44 PM |
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| Thursday, September 3, 2009 |
| Curses |
do you believe in curses?
i usually don't
but i think i'm cursed...
Why is everything happening around this time of year..
2 yrs ago around this time .... my grandfather died
last year around this time ... my grandmother died
and then this year.....
but why?
you did what i was going to do..
but only you were smarter...
But why you..?
it makes you question?
is this some stupid curse
well if it is..
FUCK IT!
please...
i dont want to think who it will be next yr
will it be me?
will it be someone special
tears.. its all i shed at this dreaded time...
i wish it was all just a dream
and i get to wake up 2mrw
and kaboom!...
everything is back to normal
and you're there to talk to at the station..
Who am i suppose to talk to now..?
You would always talk to me if i was alone and you werent busy..
now what?
i'm going to sit there nigil like a lot of other days..
waiting for my stupid late friends to arrive
Why?..
Why?
Why?....
Goodbye.
R.I.P. ........ |
| posted by Marjorie @ 3:59 PM |
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