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| Sunday, September 6, 2009 |
| Thankyou. |
SO what to say now..
Cant be fucked anymore...
i completely lost my spirit today
it just vanished, disappeared
but, after talking to ppl and stuff
i think im finding it again..
its good to have friends...
i srsly dk why i lost it today..
i've just been thinking why him?
i felt so bad today
i was so close to slitting
but gotta stay strong
i have to have spirit and faith
I wasnt tht close to him .. compared to a lot other ppl ..
but like .. the shock still gets to yu..
its a surprise and its hard to face
All i can think about now is death..
I went to mass today.. and the guy played a new song saying.. this isnt in the books but i hope you like it anyway..
and i listened to the song..
i recognised it...
it was the song all family members HAD to sing on my own grandfathers funeral..
Is this some sort of sign?
I can't help but think
I really do think I am Cursed
I'm suppose to be celbrating death annniversaries
not fucking new deaths...
I cant take it anymore..
If sum1 else dies
my bubble will burst ..
It burst today.. but sumhow i found a new one..
hopefully this bubble is strong ..
I lost it..
The bubble was burst
I lost my motivation to do things
I lost my optimism
but in all I lost my spirit...
like srsly though .. school as an example
wats the fucking point of studying and going to school .. it kills each and every one of us.. emotionally and physically?
Can a person ever be freee..?
I always wished to be free.. and well the only way i thought an indivdual could ever be free is by death
u'lll be free of everything..
I wish it was me and not alexis....
For some reason i feel like the impact would have been much less on some people if it was me...
I've attempted suicide be4
i had the knife so close to my heart...
but the thing that stopped me was..
Thinking about the impact it would have on so many people...
At times i feel like to try again
But i ought to thank Gio now..
Because now i know for sure about this so called impact that stopped me the first time...
I know for sure now.. that the impact will be just as great
and its better not to let ppl experience it..
so many ppl are going through hell right now..
I thank so many people for helping me find my spirit
Even though i did not find all of it yet..
I know ppl will always be there to help me look for it...
SO whenever i feel down now..
I'll think of him..
he's everywhere now.. He'll probably be looking after my spirit..
till i'm ready to find it again..
Thank you Gio for being everywhere and looking out for tonnes of ppl...
SO now i MUST finish the mission i strted!
Must set a good example for everyone
Must Cheer up who i can
and most of all
Must be ready to face everything and everyone that lies ahead in life with whatever spirit i have. |
posted by Marjorie @ 6:50 PM  |
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